I Don’t Deserve This

2 Chronicles 32:1

After all that Hezekiah had so faithfully done, Sennacherib king of Assyria came and invaded Judah. He laid siege to the fortified cities, thinking to conquer them for himself.

I came across this article from ‘The Natural Child Project’ which talks about and against rewards and praise to children. The method according to R.Grille ‘springs from the work of psychologists who painstakingly discovered that they could train rats to run mazes, pigeons to peck at colored buttons, and dogs to salivate at the sound of the dinner bell - by giving them a controlled schedule of rewards.’  He rebukes parents like me who use external motivations with a demand for better results instead of appreciating our kids for who they are and what they are doing NOW. Why should their self-worth be others-based? Why should their work be valued for its promised reward instead of being enjoyed as grace?  

King Hezekiah probably never experienced such parental pampering. With the ungodly Ahaz as father, he most likely vowed to become other than what the family expected of him. He may had been the least favorite son for not following their idolatrous ways, notably by not allowing himself to be sacrificed in the fire. Instead he grew up pleasing God alone.  His joy was not dependent on the rewards of his faithfulness, but on the relationship itself. Today’s chapter was proof to that. After three long chapters of his diligence to reform Judah’s ways, the verse above opens with the mighty Assyria threatening the land. That would be disappointing – if he was after God’s ‘fair’ remuneration. To the faithless, peace and prosperity are fitting rewards for obedience. But if we know that God is faithful, no fear or discouragement can make us insecure.

‘I don’t deserve this!’ We’ve heard and said it many times. We know of hardworking students failing board exams; homemakers with unappreciative family members; hundreds of overworked but underpaid employees; and yes, godly men and women in deep pain. But what do we expect actually? If we really want to go along that line of ‘deserving’, the Bible refers to us as sinners deserving death. If we feel we’re way above the sinners-status, the Bible also narrates of the sinless Jesus who suffered undeservedly in our stead.  King Hezekiah embraced the truth of grace and so was unshaken amidst life’s threat and seemingly ‘unfairness’. God’s presence is already more than what we all deserve. But if He is not enough for you, nothing else will.

Domino Effect

2 Chronicles 20:1

After this, the Moabites and Ammonites with some of the Meunites came to make war on Jehoshaphat.

Science taught us that there’s a logical explanation for everything. Do this and you’ll get that. Alter that and this happens. My 6 year old boy was introduced to the concept via the domino tiles. He loves arranging them on end in long lines and toppling the first one for the cumulative effect. The teaching moment comes in when either the fall or the hit didn’t take place. Careful with the frustrated look on his face, I have to lead him to objectively see the tiles' poor angle or spacing. The second chance makes him excited anew. With a few clicks and drags, he’s up and back to the game. That’s your clue he’s playing it online.

The first two words ‘after this’ in the chapter would readily make you ask ‘what’s before this’? But let’s complete the line of thought first.  The aftermath was a war on Jehoshaphat. Three fierce enemies merged into one vast army.  The king was alarmed. Who wouldn’t? In his prayer, he even said ‘We have no power to face them. We do not know what to do’.  Now, let’s backtrack to chapter 19 for the why this happened. Verse four noted: ‘He went from Beersheba to Ephraim and turned them back to the Lord’.  Did you follow that? Jehoshaphat doing a really godly thing and then his enemies attacked him? What’s this? A seek Ye first and these bad things will be added unto you? Or maybe a delight yourself in the Lord and He will not give you the desires of your heart?

But is God confined to a domino effect? Will we shout ‘unfair’ based on that immediate tile before life’s halt? Have we not considered that it may be part of His artistry that prompted His move? Read further and you’ll see Jehoshaphat, despite the still-unsettled WHY issue, seeking help from the Lord. He was forward looking, believing in faith that God can and will save them. The only time he looked back was when he claimed God’s promises. It was never because of any felt ‘I earned and deserved these’. And so, to us who’ve been toiling hard to keep our faithfulness, 1 Peter 4:12 reminds us not to be surprised at the painful trial we are suffering, as though something strange were happening to us. It is because we share in Christ’s sufferings - - if we are to likewise to share in His glory. Let God line up those tiles for you. Accept His out-of-this-world and beyond-science grander design. You’ll soon realize that a stop here was because of a split off somewhere and that other line is continuing the beautiful pattern He has pre-set for you. Just zoom out to believe.

Reese’s For You

1 Samuel 30:24

“The share of the man who stayed with the supplies is to be the same as that of him who went down to the battle. All will share alike.”

Googling to find the meaning of share, I found the following words: apportion equally. I chuckled remembering how we shared the Hershey’s Reese’s Selecta Ice Cream last weekend. It was MY discovery when we went to do groceries. In my mind, I was greeding MINE! hahaha! But of course, I had to share it with my family. Tristan knew how much I loved Reese’s and so whenever my turn comes to have a spoonful, he made sure mine’s with a big chunk. It was a superb delight, but I guess our share definition missed the mark.

When David and his men returned from overtaking the Amalek raiders, they were not just able to recover their wives and children, but also a great amount of plunder. I’m sure the four hundred were already calculating their portion and the comforts they can acquire with it. Crossing that ravine again, they were greeted by the two hundred who were left behind. Filled with greed and pride, they readily defended their rightful share and debased their weaker brothers as unworthy of any slice. Imagine coming out alive in a tragedy and while everybody else was just praising God to still have their family with them, you’ll hear some people keeping stocks to themselves. Blood-boil right? David rebuked his men not in raging impatience, as some of us might do, but in truth. These were his exact words, ‘My brothers, you must not do that with what the Lord has given us. He has protected us and handed over to us the forces that came against us.’ Grace tells us that no one deserves favor from God. Not the naughty, not the nice. The four hundred were not the rescuers. It was not even David. It was all God’s work. He is the Landowner who has the right to apportion. Are we envious because He’s generous?

When we see the wicked prospering, why are we downhearted? Because we’re  more deserving? When we’ve been working to death and a co-worker gets promoted, do we cry unfair? Are we saying God is unjust? When we’re up there, we may see our compensation equal to our task. Serves us right, we say. But when we’re down there and favored with a lot, aren’t we more inclined to call it a blessing? If we’re to apportion according to gratefulness, who will you choose? I don’t say that is how God operates. Of course He rewards us accordingly. But He gives not according to our merits, but because He is Grace. Now He’s calling us to share - - to apportion equally. Not from our spare, not in favor of friends, but according to His grace. I guess that’s a chunk of Reese’s for all of us! Cheers to Grace!