When Hope Seems Gone

Ezra 10:2

We have been unfaithful to our God …. but in spite of this, there is still hope for Israel.

News of the 16 year old UP student’s suicide last Friday not just caused grief but aroused anger among various communities. They were pointing at the state university’s cold-hearted treatment to the girl, who after failing to meet the P10K tuition fee deadline, was forced to file a leave of absence and surrender her well-loved school ID. Prof Martinez, her adviser, observed that ‘studying was her anchor, her lifesaver, her escape. When it was taken away from her, her life dilemmas sank in’.  ‘UP deprived my daughter of her only hope to help us’ her father said.  And it was that hopelessness that took her young life.

Even in the Bible, we see our faith heroes not exempt from seemingly hopeless times. Look at their quotable quotes:  from Moses ‘It is too heavy for me. Kill me I pray’; from Elijah ‘I have had enough Lord. Take me now’; and from Job and Jonah  ‘It is better for me to die than to live’. Indeed, desperate times call for desperate measures. But giving up negates all that God is. It pictures a God who provides not, sees not, cares not. It blames Him for the inequality of life. It denies His power to make miracles and turn lives around. It accuses His promises empty and calls Him a liar.  Sure, we don’t actually curse God when our faces hit the wall. Because truth is, most of the time, we haven’t been really calling at all. We are only alone when we choose isolation. And that’s where darkness lies.

In Ezra’s last chapter, guilt haunted all of Judah and they had every reason to succumb to fear. They knew they aroused God’s wrath by marrying pagan wives which was a direct and specific command. History told them exile was next, but Ezra expected the worst. It was in this distress that God used a man Shecaniah to bring light back into his eyes. Like King David, he knew it is better to fall in the hands of an angry God, for His mercy is great. That’s their hope. God’s their hope. In Him there is grace, there is forgiveness, there is future. In Him, there is always a way out. Jesus promised He will provide it. In fact, He even called Himself THE Way.  That’s why we shouldn’t give up on life. Instead, let’s give it all – our cares, our troubles, our pains - to Him who cares for us, and our lives, the most.

How Dare Me

Ezra 9:13

What has happened to us is a result of our evil deeds and our great guilt, and yet, our God, you have punished us less than our sins deserved and have given us a remnant like this.

For two weeks now, God has been calling me to do something which I just don’t have feelings for.  I tried to manage the guilt by calling it mere delay and by compensating it with diligence in other worthwhile things. But who am I fooling here?  If I bring that alibi to a boss, I’d probably get fired. If I give it as an excuse to a professor,  I’d still flunk the course. If I offer that to my husband, he’d sure feel not loved at all. And if my kids do that to me, my kindest would be to nag them for days : )

Ezra's spirit was still high from their historical return from Babylon to Jerusalem when he heard the shocking news: the exiles were intermarrying. Why was that a big deal? First, it was their direct order from God not to. They were set apart as a nation under God and a marriage with a Gentile would compromise that bond. Second, it was exactly why they became slaves for seventy years in a foreign land, and in sin's bondage for many years prior that. The relationship of their kings and leaders with these pagan neighbors paved the way to idolatry resulting to God's wrath. And third, they all just got back from that mess! God’s word was clear to them that their release was so they could start anew with Him and be that holy nation again. Ezra sat down utterly appalled the whole day. Probably wondering how and if they could lift up their faces to God again.

‘Try offering your crippled sacrifices to your governor! Would he be pleased and accept you? Where is the honor due Me?’ Still, despite our evil deeds, God’s mercy still offered us clean slates in Christ. Even overwhelmed us with much grace after that. Now imagine Him hearing my ungrateful excuses to His call. Seriously? After all that He suffered on that Cross for me? Despite clearing my record of sins and shame? Add to that all the blessings I received from Him? How would His mercy appease His justice to pass over me again?  And so today, like Ezra, I had to throw myself down before the God who deserves utmost honor and my obedience. Oh how dare me : (

Love Day

Ezra 8:22

I was ashamed to ask the king for soldiers and horsemen to protect us from enemies on the road, because we had told the king, ‘The gracious hand of our God is on everyone who looks to him, but his great anger is against all who forsake him.’

Tris came home late last night with a pre-Valentine hot choco for me. I hugged him for his sweetness, then asked ‘Can I save it for tomorrow morning?’ Sensing it was the thrifty-me taking over, he spilled the beans why he went to Starbucks: to check out which drink and pastry he’ll surprise me with for breakfast. I again acknowledged the thought but told him I already prepared for that, and the special dinner. ‘I’ll just bring you home a special dessert!’ he said, still excitedly. But I told him the kids are set to surprise him with baking too. ‘So is there anything else I can surprise you with?’ he softly said.  Then I knew I was doing it all wrong.

Ezra’s task in chapter 8 was to bring home the second set of exiles from Babylon. God worked in Artaxerxes heart and they were given a go, and a lot of gold too. As he sat by the Ahava Canal, their meeting place, he probably visualized the journey a hundred times in his head and noted all the ifs and buts ahead. The distance was around nine hundred miles by foot and the danger of bandits were real. In his heart was the urge to request Artaxerxes for bodyguards. A just in case. Nothing seemed wrong with that, except that he gave the testimony of God’s gracious hand on them. It would contradict his claim of God’s protection if he’ll ask for more protection. And so for God’s honor, he quenched his human reasoning’s pull.  He entrusted everyone and everything to God, and He never failed them.

1 Corinthians 13 says love protects. In my story and Ezra’s, it is that call for the honor of the ones we love. Relationship verses almost always have or imply that those two words go together. That is, for parents and children, husband and wife, and brethren to brethren, to honor one another. And what exactly does protecting their honor look like? Let’s use the word defense. It is that which blocks all the arrows intended for the city. To us, it means forsaking our convenience and security, status or idea, even personal plans, for the sake of God’s honor and those that we love. It is their name above ours, their preference over ours, their interest not ours. Now that’s a lot like love.

Better with Names

Ezra 8:15

I assembled them at the canal that flows toward Ahava, and we camped there three days. When I checked among the people and the priests, I found no Levites there.

With Holy Week coming up early this year, my hands are already full in preparation for our church’s summer VBS. For starters, I have next week’s kick off to focus on. The pressure is to make it an exciting and excellent first impression. With the task manuals printed, schedules to follow, PPT presentation checked and invitations set, the OC-in-me bugs me of what I might still have missed. And again, like last year, God’s word came right on cue.  

Opening on chapter 8, a list of names welcomed me. I quickly rushed through the thirteen verses thinking it was just one of those lineage thing-y. I jumped to the verse noted above and the phrase ‘(Ezra) found no Levites there’ hit me.  With around thousands of people gathered there, he found one tribe wanting: the Levites. What’s happening here was, supposedly, they were the second wave of remnants who will return to Jerusalem. The temple was already rebuilt, but not so much true worship. Ezra, being a scribe in the line of Aaron, was called for this reform.  Seeing no Levites in his team posed a problem. Only these people were set apart to assist the priests in the temple work. Without them, the priests will probably multi-task. No reason was given why they didn’t respond to the recruitment call. Some said, it may be because it was no position of prominence. Regardless, Ezra did not leave without their representation. And when they arrive, each of their names were likewise registered.

When I imagined Ezra writing their names, I also saw him asking their father’s line and meeting the family they brought along with. That’s ‘taking time’. I may understand that the scribe-in-him bugged him on these details, but the fact that the Scripture gave them one-fourth page is something. It made me realize how each name in my volunteer list is as important as my tasks on hand. It readied my heart for possible ‘no-show’ and that I should seek them out and wait on them. Not because Ezra did it. But because God Himself sought the lost-me, called me by name, and relates with me to this time. I know better how that feels like. Time to do better is what’s next.

Good Hands

Ezra 7:28

(He) has extended his good favor to me before the king and his advisers and all the king's powerful officials. Because the hand of the LORD my God was on me, I took courage and gathered leading men from Israel to go up with me.

Late last night, I savored a very pretty sight: my two boys were at the big dining table, one with an iPad, the other with his sketching mats, and each with a knee up to their chest. The mix of their quietness and the busyness of their hands amaze me. Once again, I fell in love with their artistry and how they were so passionate about it. I was just praising God for how He blessed them with good hands. I felt like Mary pondering it all in. I was proud and humbled at the same time.

Chapter 7 opened with the name Ezra, finally. The first verses gave us the list of his lineage, which was from Aaron, signifying his rightful place in the priestly office. It was a notable status - - if they weren’t in Babylon as captives. But Ezra was able to rise above their situation. His name became known and favored by Artaxerxes himself. Verse six noted ‘The king granted him everything he asked’. Further down the chapter, he was promised with government treasures and was given power to appoint magistrates and judges. He was even allowed to promote his faith amongst his people. I’m sure all the Jews during his time were so proud of him and rejoiced with him for all these favors.

So what’s behind the success story? Ezra was said to be a scribe well versed in the Scriptures. While everybody else were possibly whining and worrying and wandering around, he devoted himself to the study, observance and to the teaching of the Word. He became so good and skilled with it that his integrity reached the palace grounds and they soon sought God’s grace through him. But was it competence that brought him up there?   Ezra himself acknowledged it was the hand of the Lord on him. The good hands who created the world and who cares for everyone in it. The beautiful hands who formed my husband’s artistry and my son’s heart for it. Apart from His hands, there wouldn’t be any success story. Not one. This implies that if we have stories to tell, feats we achieved, heights we reached - - it wasn’t ours to glory in. We are to praise the Hands who did it all and deserve it most.

Inside Your Heart

Ezra 6:22

For seven days they celebrated with joy the Feast of Unleavened Bread, because the LORD had filled them with joy by changing the attitude of the king of Assyria, so that he assisted them in the work on the house of God, the God of Israel.

One interesting series that Tris and I got hooked on was Once Upon A Time. It is a modern take of the old fairy tales we grew up with, and like Shrek, the creators made a way of linking the characters to each other and into one story line. For its second season, the evil witch was back again trying to win Snow White’s grandson for her keeping. She used the book of spells to snatch him amidst the townspeople. She even enticed him to try magic. But like Bruce Almighty’s lesson, you cannot make another love you. She may have kept the boy inside her house, but she can never be inside his heart. It is the boy’s personal choice.

Following the celebration of the dedication of the temple, we find Judah in verse 19 having another feast, the Passover. They held it on the dates commanded by the Law, indicating that the Temple worship was fully operational.  What was noteworthy though was what God put in their hearts as the reason for their joy: that He changed the attitude of Darius so that he assisted them in the Temple rebuilding.   God softened the heart of this ruler, as He did with Pharaoh, to serve His purposes. This king acknowledged God as the God of heaven. Sadly though, he didn't make God the God of his life.

Verse 10 gives us the clue what was really in Darius’ heart: political reasons. Wikipedia noted that he was a firm believer of Ahura Mazda and he only ‘supported faiths and religions that were alien as long as the adherents were submissive and peaceable, sometimes giving them grants from his treasury for their purposes’.  How sad God must have been! This man called Him God - acknowledging His presence, His power, His sovereignty - but still not calling Him as ‘his’ God. Judas too, broke God’s heart by being a close follower and yet, not following at all.  Both prove that we can do God’s will without necessarily being connected to Him. The difference is found at the celebration after. Judah joyously enjoyed the feast, but Darius have no share in it. I doubt we’ll see Judas in eternity as well. Truth is, God draws people to Himself. His power is for His love and grace be made available to all. But responding in faith is man’s personal choice. The big question now is, is the God of all creation, also the God of your life?