Faint-Painted

1 Samuel 30:6

‘David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his own sons and daughters. But David found strength in the Lord his God.’

What can turn us fade and make us faint? It’s lunchtime and so first in mind is hunger. Survival sites say being underfed for even just one day can already cause disorientation, poor judgment and confusion. I can’t imagine how the political prisoners in Ireland endured 73 days :<  Extreme physical activity can also be draining. One man in Minnesota celebrated his 30^th birthday by logging a 24-hour treadmill session. World record has 48 hours. I can’t even run in four. Severe stress due to work pressure and family demands can be damaging too.  In Tokyo, one man killed himself a day after completing a 17-month, no-day-off project. Now that’s a scary thought for all unpaid and unappreciated mothers who work 24/7.  

David in today’s chapter was all painted with faint. He who is most wanted in Israel is also unwanted even by the Philistines. Coming home from the pull out, still exhausted from their three-day trip, he found the city burned and all their wives, children and goods taken by the Amalekites. It’s why working moms sigh when they see their homes messy and the kids smelly and there’s still dinner to prepare and husband to attend to. Multiply that weight and we’ll understand why David and his six hundred mighty warriors wept aloud until they had no strength left to weep. Now here’s the unexpected blow: ‘In their distress, his men talked about stoning him’. Oh please! Not now! But David kept his calm. He did not defend himself or gave a snappy backtalk. Verse six says ‘He found his strength in the Lord his God.’ A friend posted a John Piper quote the other day which may help us draw David’s thought balloon here: ‘The song of everyone who comes to Christ: I will never live alone again. Never.’ He chose meekness in the midst of madness, and trusted God for this trial.

There will be times we don’t have the luxury of explaining to everyone what we’re going through. That today is just not the best time for an added insult or an unkind word or a cold face. I wish I can make my kids stop asking their endless whys when I’m working. Or not return a call and hear another burden when we’re too loaded ourselves. As a leader, David did not give in to that excuse. He needs to be strong for them and finding none within, he went up to the Source. No wonder he became an inspiration not just to his men, but to great prophets as well. Isaiah and Habakkuk painted God’s strength as soaring like eagles and having hind’s feet - - the same words used by our psalmist here. We will sure grow tired and faint, again. But in Christ, we will not just be refreshed, but renewed. Not just repaired, but restored. His paint never runs dry :>

God-Sent

1 Samuel 23:15-16

“While David was at Horesh in the Desert of Ziph, he learned that Saul had come to take his life. And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God.”

my clay birthday cake
from rilian

When the clocked ticked 12 midnight earlier, I was greeted with my fave chocolate drink and the warmest hug from my husband. Happy Birthday To Me! Today is the first time I will have to celebrate it so far from everyone else. I usually look forward to a full week eating out with friends, have all my favorites cooked by my mom, and have an exclusive date with Tris. I laid in bed feeling a big bit lonely for all those are out of the question now. Who’s to greet me here? And then I woke up wrestled by my kids. When they saw me open my eyes, I got hugs and kisses and ‘I love you mom’s’ - - enough to lift the shadow of the lonely night. ‘Life is so beautiful!’ I can’t help but say. An hour later, the water delivery boy came in for our refill and saw me baking blueberry muffins. I reasoned we’re having a special breakfast for my special day. He right away shifted to an upbeat tone and gave me a greeting. The sincerity warmed my heart and I was still smiling when he left. I’m sure he was God-sent. I may not be able to go and be with those I’m now missing, but who says God can’t send His people to me?

The last Psalm David wrote before coming to Keilah was the 142^nd.  He was in a cave, away from family and friends, and verse four sadly paints what greatly pains his heart: ‘Look to my right and see, no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge, no one cares for my life.’ This warrior became a child. As if adding to his heavy soul, these people whom he rescued from those looting Philistines will surrender him to Saul, thus the need to flee again. Day after day he was being searched by the jealous king, although God did not allow him to be found. But God’s kindness happened. Jonathan, his best friend, out of nowhere, came and helped him find strength in God. We can read the same scenario in Gethsemane. Jesus, being in anguish, His sweat like drops of blood falling to the ground, all-knowing of the cross that lies before Him, was visited by an angel from heaven to strengthen Him. Strongholds may fail, disciples may sleep, mountains may be shaken and the hills be removed, but God’s love remains. An ever-present help in time of trouble.

It’s my thirty-sixth year today and I’ve lost count of the many times God has sent people to secure me of His love. For lending a hand, listening to my cries, making me laugh-loud, for every needed push, and the necessary pulls, my dear friends, thank you. You we’re God-sent, and yes, I miss you all.  Allow me to return the favor, for God is sending me too. I may not know in detail all that you’re going through - -  loneliness, heartbreak, stagnation, persecution, sickness, lost of direction, failure - - but know that God is able to fill your empty cups. Find strength in Him for we can’t have it elsewhere. ‘Call upon Me’,  God says in Psam 91:15,  ‘..and I will answer. I will be with you in trouble. I will rescue you and honor you. With long life I will satisfy you.’ A blessed day ahead, my God-sent friends, and again, Happy Birthday to me :>

Haven of Rest

1 Samuel 19:18

“When David had fled and made his escape, he went to Samuel at Ramah and told him all Saul had done to him. Then he and Samuel went to Naioth and stayed there.”

In an interview on Radio Inquirer last Tuesday night, NBN-ZTE deal whistleblower Jun Lozada said he has accepted that his previous life was gone already. “Since I testified three years ago, I had to live in a convent for security reasons. It has been three months since my family and I have returned to our house but it’s not the same anymore. The security issues are still there.”  It was not the first time the doors of seminaries and convents opened its door for those who seek refuge. During the martial law years, they also took in victims of human rights violations. And now with former state auditor Heidi Mendoza’s uncovering the pocketed millions of pesos in the military funds, they again expressed willingness to provide her a sanctuary.

When death was lying in wait at his door, God provided a window for David’s escape. Next question is where to go. If security was top of his mind, there’s his father’s house in Bethlehem. Maybe he can tap his military brothers to fight alongside him. If all he needed was sorting and sympathy, there’s Jonathan to stand by him. But of course, that’s’ running closer to danger. David knew better than to seek some feel-good, pat-on-the-back answers. Ever since the anointing with oil, his life has never been the same. And so he sought for the root of the matter. It’s one thing to know God’s purposes for us, it’s another to allow Him to guide us with our every step. Samuel brought him to a school of prophets, maybe thinking Saul would not attempt to slay him there. That’s the hope of a sanctuary. But even before he ran for his life, David already had his Fortress. He was already singing the Lord’s salvation on his way to Ramah. There’s no haven safer than being in the hands of our Father.

Spending a weekend in retreat houses, seeking the company of friends, even shopping for ladies are all valid steps to de-stress us from our tormentors. But all can’t guarantee a stop. We will still all go home insecure and unprotected. Saul thrice sent men to capture David there, he even went himself. Ramah obviously could not offer him immunity. His Refuge did. David’s valley of death did not end here. It will continue on. When we cast our cares on God, it doesn’t mean He not pull us out from our pains, but He will make sure we are strong for the struggle. He will be our Strength, our true Haven of Rest.

Song In the Night

1 Samuel 19:11

“Saul sent men to David’s house to watch it and to kill him in the morning. But Michal, David’s husband, warned him, ‘If you don’t run from your life tonight, tomorrow you’ll be killed."

According to Charles Spurgeon, 'We have nights of all kinds – nights of sorrow, nights of persecution, nights of doubts, nights of bewilderment, nights of anxiety, nights of oppression, nights of ignorance – which press upon our spirits and terrify our souls.' Our night songs define how we perceive the next morning coming, and whether we’d want it soon or stay awake to delay it. Yesterday was my tantrum night. All day I was looking forward for Tris to come home so we can watch our favorite Fringe episodes. He retired after just one shot. I was so disappointed and angry because I was very bored lately. I felt it was unfair that my simple joy was dependent on his call. But I never aired that of course. That’s unlike me. Deep in my heart, I knew I was behaving like a brat. And so he slept unaware, and I cried the whole night in vain. I hate the thought of confessing in the morning, but truth says it will only prolong the misery.  

My night is petty compared to most of you. I’m sure you have bigger, more mature reasons to dread the morning. David had his worst night too. Outside his home were Saul’s men snarling like dogs, ready to kill him in the morning.  He can fight ten thousands of Philistines for they are Israel’s enemy, but how can he escape his king, to whom he is subject to? I’m sure he was confused, but not without hope. In his darkest night, he was still able to write a song. But it was far from beats of anger or tones of desperation. Psalm 59 was all about God’s sound justice and sure deliverance. He wasn’t just doing positive thinking. It was deeply grounded in the nature and proven nurture of God.  Thus the beautiful sound of verse 16:  “But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.”

We may have threats waiting outside our doors, lying in wait to consume us in the morning, but we have a God, our Maker, who gives songs in the night. Even our darkest night will not be dark to Him. The night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to Him. Yes we CAN be still. He is God. Let me appropriately end this blog with that song. God bless us all.