What has happened to us is a result of our evil
deeds and our great guilt, and yet, our God, you have punished us less than our
sins deserved and have given us a remnant like this.
For two weeks now, God has been calling me to do
something which I just don’t have feelings for. I tried to manage the guilt by calling it mere
delay and by compensating it with diligence in other worthwhile things. But who
am I fooling here? If I bring that alibi
to a boss, I’d probably get fired. If I give it as an excuse to a professor, I’d still flunk the course. If I offer that to
my husband, he’d sure feel not loved at all. And if my kids do that to me, my
kindest would be to nag them for days : )
Ezra's spirit was still high from their historical
return from Babylon to Jerusalem when he heard the shocking news: the exiles
were intermarrying. Why was that a big deal? First, it was their direct order
from God not to. They were set apart as a nation under God and a marriage with
a Gentile would compromise that bond. Second, it was exactly why they became
slaves for seventy years in a foreign land, and in sin's bondage for many years prior that. The
relationship of their kings and leaders with these pagan neighbors paved
the way to idolatry resulting to God's wrath. And third, they all just got back from
that mess! God’s word was clear to them that their release was so they could
start anew with Him and be that holy nation again. Ezra sat down utterly appalled
the whole day. Probably wondering how and if they could lift up their faces to
God again.
‘Try offering your crippled sacrifices to your
governor! Would he be pleased and accept you? Where is the honor due Me?’ Still, despite our evil deeds, God’s mercy still offered
us clean slates in Christ. Even overwhelmed us with much grace after that. Now
imagine Him hearing my ungrateful excuses to His call. Seriously? After all
that He suffered on that Cross for me? Despite clearing my record of sins and
shame? Add to that all the blessings I received from Him? How would His mercy
appease His justice to pass over me again? And so today, like Ezra, I had to throw myself
down before the God who deserves utmost honor and my obedience. Oh how dare me
: (
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