How Dare Me

Ezra 9:13

What has happened to us is a result of our evil deeds and our great guilt, and yet, our God, you have punished us less than our sins deserved and have given us a remnant like this.

For two weeks now, God has been calling me to do something which I just don’t have feelings for.  I tried to manage the guilt by calling it mere delay and by compensating it with diligence in other worthwhile things. But who am I fooling here?  If I bring that alibi to a boss, I’d probably get fired. If I give it as an excuse to a professor,  I’d still flunk the course. If I offer that to my husband, he’d sure feel not loved at all. And if my kids do that to me, my kindest would be to nag them for days : )

Ezra's spirit was still high from their historical return from Babylon to Jerusalem when he heard the shocking news: the exiles were intermarrying. Why was that a big deal? First, it was their direct order from God not to. They were set apart as a nation under God and a marriage with a Gentile would compromise that bond. Second, it was exactly why they became slaves for seventy years in a foreign land, and in sin's bondage for many years prior that. The relationship of their kings and leaders with these pagan neighbors paved the way to idolatry resulting to God's wrath. And third, they all just got back from that mess! God’s word was clear to them that their release was so they could start anew with Him and be that holy nation again. Ezra sat down utterly appalled the whole day. Probably wondering how and if they could lift up their faces to God again.

‘Try offering your crippled sacrifices to your governor! Would he be pleased and accept you? Where is the honor due Me?’ Still, despite our evil deeds, God’s mercy still offered us clean slates in Christ. Even overwhelmed us with much grace after that. Now imagine Him hearing my ungrateful excuses to His call. Seriously? After all that He suffered on that Cross for me? Despite clearing my record of sins and shame? Add to that all the blessings I received from Him? How would His mercy appease His justice to pass over me again?  And so today, like Ezra, I had to throw myself down before the God who deserves utmost honor and my obedience. Oh how dare me : (

Love Day

Ezra 8:22

I was ashamed to ask the king for soldiers and horsemen to protect us from enemies on the road, because we had told the king, ‘The gracious hand of our God is on everyone who looks to him, but his great anger is against all who forsake him.’

Tris came home late last night with a pre-Valentine hot choco for me. I hugged him for his sweetness, then asked ‘Can I save it for tomorrow morning?’ Sensing it was the thrifty-me taking over, he spilled the beans why he went to Starbucks: to check out which drink and pastry he’ll surprise me with for breakfast. I again acknowledged the thought but told him I already prepared for that, and the special dinner. ‘I’ll just bring you home a special dessert!’ he said, still excitedly. But I told him the kids are set to surprise him with baking too. ‘So is there anything else I can surprise you with?’ he softly said.  Then I knew I was doing it all wrong.

Ezra’s task in chapter 8 was to bring home the second set of exiles from Babylon. God worked in Artaxerxes heart and they were given a go, and a lot of gold too. As he sat by the Ahava Canal, their meeting place, he probably visualized the journey a hundred times in his head and noted all the ifs and buts ahead. The distance was around nine hundred miles by foot and the danger of bandits were real. In his heart was the urge to request Artaxerxes for bodyguards. A just in case. Nothing seemed wrong with that, except that he gave the testimony of God’s gracious hand on them. It would contradict his claim of God’s protection if he’ll ask for more protection. And so for God’s honor, he quenched his human reasoning’s pull.  He entrusted everyone and everything to God, and He never failed them.

1 Corinthians 13 says love protects. In my story and Ezra’s, it is that call for the honor of the ones we love. Relationship verses almost always have or imply that those two words go together. That is, for parents and children, husband and wife, and brethren to brethren, to honor one another. And what exactly does protecting their honor look like? Let’s use the word defense. It is that which blocks all the arrows intended for the city. To us, it means forsaking our convenience and security, status or idea, even personal plans, for the sake of God’s honor and those that we love. It is their name above ours, their preference over ours, their interest not ours. Now that’s a lot like love.

Better with Names

Ezra 8:15

I assembled them at the canal that flows toward Ahava, and we camped there three days. When I checked among the people and the priests, I found no Levites there.

With Holy Week coming up early this year, my hands are already full in preparation for our church’s summer VBS. For starters, I have next week’s kick off to focus on. The pressure is to make it an exciting and excellent first impression. With the task manuals printed, schedules to follow, PPT presentation checked and invitations set, the OC-in-me bugs me of what I might still have missed. And again, like last year, God’s word came right on cue.  

Opening on chapter 8, a list of names welcomed me. I quickly rushed through the thirteen verses thinking it was just one of those lineage thing-y. I jumped to the verse noted above and the phrase ‘(Ezra) found no Levites there’ hit me.  With around thousands of people gathered there, he found one tribe wanting: the Levites. What’s happening here was, supposedly, they were the second wave of remnants who will return to Jerusalem. The temple was already rebuilt, but not so much true worship. Ezra, being a scribe in the line of Aaron, was called for this reform.  Seeing no Levites in his team posed a problem. Only these people were set apart to assist the priests in the temple work. Without them, the priests will probably multi-task. No reason was given why they didn’t respond to the recruitment call. Some said, it may be because it was no position of prominence. Regardless, Ezra did not leave without their representation. And when they arrive, each of their names were likewise registered.

When I imagined Ezra writing their names, I also saw him asking their father’s line and meeting the family they brought along with. That’s ‘taking time’. I may understand that the scribe-in-him bugged him on these details, but the fact that the Scripture gave them one-fourth page is something. It made me realize how each name in my volunteer list is as important as my tasks on hand. It readied my heart for possible ‘no-show’ and that I should seek them out and wait on them. Not because Ezra did it. But because God Himself sought the lost-me, called me by name, and relates with me to this time. I know better how that feels like. Time to do better is what’s next.

Good Hands

Ezra 7:28

(He) has extended his good favor to me before the king and his advisers and all the king's powerful officials. Because the hand of the LORD my God was on me, I took courage and gathered leading men from Israel to go up with me.

Late last night, I savored a very pretty sight: my two boys were at the big dining table, one with an iPad, the other with his sketching mats, and each with a knee up to their chest. The mix of their quietness and the busyness of their hands amaze me. Once again, I fell in love with their artistry and how they were so passionate about it. I was just praising God for how He blessed them with good hands. I felt like Mary pondering it all in. I was proud and humbled at the same time.

Chapter 7 opened with the name Ezra, finally. The first verses gave us the list of his lineage, which was from Aaron, signifying his rightful place in the priestly office. It was a notable status - - if they weren’t in Babylon as captives. But Ezra was able to rise above their situation. His name became known and favored by Artaxerxes himself. Verse six noted ‘The king granted him everything he asked’. Further down the chapter, he was promised with government treasures and was given power to appoint magistrates and judges. He was even allowed to promote his faith amongst his people. I’m sure all the Jews during his time were so proud of him and rejoiced with him for all these favors.

So what’s behind the success story? Ezra was said to be a scribe well versed in the Scriptures. While everybody else were possibly whining and worrying and wandering around, he devoted himself to the study, observance and to the teaching of the Word. He became so good and skilled with it that his integrity reached the palace grounds and they soon sought God’s grace through him. But was it competence that brought him up there?   Ezra himself acknowledged it was the hand of the Lord on him. The good hands who created the world and who cares for everyone in it. The beautiful hands who formed my husband’s artistry and my son’s heart for it. Apart from His hands, there wouldn’t be any success story. Not one. This implies that if we have stories to tell, feats we achieved, heights we reached - - it wasn’t ours to glory in. We are to praise the Hands who did it all and deserve it most.