The Battle Within

Nehemiah 5:6-7

When I heard their outcry and these charges, I was very angry.  I pondered them in my mind and then accused the nobles and officials. I told them, “You are charging your own people interest!” So I called together a large meeting to deal with them.

A friend recently organized a very beautiful wedding event and we’re one of those tapped to help out. Peeking at their line of guests and suppliers, I can really say it was one of those extravagant ones. Sadly though, their dream of having the perfect beach-like theme was drenched in rain. I can imagine everyone’s concern over the bridal gown, and the cocktails, and the photoshoots. The frowning of the newlyweds was expected. But only a few knew it was more than the weather hit. For what could be worse than realizing too late that they shouldn’t be married at all.  And they’re not just having those cold feet.

After Nehemiah’s victory over the opposition in Chapter 4, he was very hopeful that the wall rebuilding would progress even more. For if they could reach half its height amidst threats, imagine what they can accomplish in peace.  But what hit them was far harder than the stones thrown at them from outside. The opening verses noted how the storm crept in from within. The long and short of it was that the rich Jews were exacting usury from their poor brothers to the point of enslaving their children.  It angered Nehemiah because the sin not only trespassed God’s law against oppression but it also kept the work from being accomplished. What he did next was admirable. Instead of blurting it out, he stepped back and pondered. Other versions say: he consulted with himself, thinking it over carefully. He himself used the method of working it out from within.  And because God was on his side, nothing can stand against him.

Bringing it home, I was reminded of two things. First, the enemy’s scheme is to hit us hard from within. We can be as successful as King David, as spiritually mature as Elijah, as godly as Job, but in one click, we can fall into grave sin, succumb to despair, even lose the ones we hold dear.  It’s a scary thought. But not impassable. Second is the truth of God‘s power within us. If we belong to Him, the Spirit of God who raised Jesus from the dead (imagine that power!), lives in us. No death nor life, nor any power, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from His love. Faith may be our only shield to a thousand enemy schemes, but it sure can extinguish all arrows. The enemy knows that. We should too and be alert and be in prayer for all of the Lord's people.

Prayer Plus +

Nehemiah 4:9
But we prayed to our God and posted a guard day and night to meet this threat.

When my husband told me last week to sit down and meet with him, I was thrilled. For one, I love meetings. Seeing the big picture down to every detail energizes me. And second, it’s a joy for wives when husbands take the lead. Putting us on dependent-mode make us more secure, and the submission easier too. Anyway, our talk was around financial management. Nearing our forties, we recognize the need to rethink our priorities (and principles) in areas of saving, giving, and spending. The initial brainstorming readily posed a threat to our cravings and conveniences. We’re sure it’l continue to tempt us daily.  And so, aside from provision, we sought the Lord’s protection and power to resist the lure.  Plus, we wrote down our action plans.

Chapter four of Nehemiah started with the name Sanballat and later joined by Tobiah, the Arabs, the Ammonites and the men of Ashrod. These men were Judah’s tormentors. They employed themselves fulltime with a single task: making sure Jerusalem walls stay burned and dead! First, they threw large heaps of insults to the people. The intention of calling them feeble and their work frail was to slow them down with self-doubts ‘til they succumb to defeat.  Second, they literally plotted to attack their lives. I wonder how many moms considered pulling out their men with such high-risk jobs (and no pay!). Commendably, in both hits, Nehemiah united the people to respond in prayer and to continue the hardwork. No vengeful looks. No throwing back of very hard breads. But they did tighten their defenses. Not that they don’t fully expect God’s protection. It’s more of God wanting them to exercise His wisdom in plotting these precautions.

With the big battles in our lives - - financial burdens, relationship conflicts, career failures, health issues - -  I’m sure like me, you wished today’s verse would just say ‘they prayed and were saved.’ But just like in 1 Peter 5:7, the soothing ‘Cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you’ did not end there. It continued with ‘Be alert. Watch out. Resist the enemy. Stand firm in the faith’. Really strong words! And if we read further, just before we land on the beautiful promise of ‘He will restore, support, and strengthen you, and He will place you on a firm foundation’, we’ll see the phrase: ‘So after you have suffered a little while...’ That ‘little’ word there was supposed to give us hope. Add to that a little faith which can move mountains! So, like Nehemiah and the people of Judah, let’s not give our enemy the pleasure of seeing us down or distracted. We prepare to defeat them by calling on God, and then the two plus-es: we continue with our work heartily and we check our faith defenses regularly. Period.  

Working Extra

Nehemiah 3:27

Next to them, the men of Tekoa repaired another section, from the great projecting tower to the wall of Ophel.

I learned from a very special mentor back in college that a leader is most successful when the work continues even without him. So last month, before I left for my sister’s graduation in Manila, I made sure I delegated the children’s ministry tasks to competent people. Receiving no calls that weekend, I was confident all went well as prayed for. It did. Except for that detail that the teacher assigned for the evening service had a surprise guest and another willingly took her place to attend to the kids. The latter had all the reasons not to do it: she already taught that morning, she also needed to attend the service, she had a full day already, and she still had wife-y responsibilities when she gets home. But she didn’t use all those valid excuses to avoid working extra.  She didn’t even complained after or brag about her sacrifices. She just did it with her whole heart - - and with a right heart.

Chapter 3 of Nehemiah was a lengthy read, especially because it’s an account of hard-to-pronounce names and i-have-no-idea-where locations. The long and short of it was these remnants were called by God through Nehemiah’s leadership to rebuild Jerusalem’s walls. From priests to goldsmiths, rulers to commoners, fathers, sons, even daughters, all worked as one to complete the task.  Aside from Baruch who zealously repaired a section, my reading highlighted the men of Tekoa too. The verse above was the second mention of their names, meaning, this was already an extra work for them. Earlier in verse 5, they were next to Zadok working near the Fish Gate and then we read these words: ‘though their leaders refused to work with the construction supervisors’. But despite the lack of expected help, these men of Tokea  were able to finish their double-load, even faster than others, and willingly walked some more extra miles to help where it was needed.

We all wished to be regarded as good Samaritans. We are compassionate people and if really needed, will extend help to those hurting.  But of course, everyone understands that sometimes we also have family issues, and have tight budgets, and have very important meetings, and can’t be Superman all the time. Better yet, isn’t ‘I’ll pray for you’ godly enough? Why extend another hand? Why walk an extra mile? But can you imagine God clicking autopilot after creation? What He gave us was perfection that could last a thousand generation. But when we chose sin and the consequences gave birth to more rottenness, He didn’t say ‘Not my problem guys. I did my part.’ Instead He sent Jesus to take that painful extra mile to save us all.  And although it was enough, His grace still overflows. Note His answers to our prayers. His timely protection. His daily provision. These are all extra love. And what do we do with our extra supplies? Yes, we give it out : )

Shut Up or Shout Out?

Nehemiah 2:12
I set out during the night with a few others. I had not told anyone what my God had put in my heart to do for Jerusalem. There were no mounts with me except the one I was riding on.

I had the task last weekend to organize Windsong’s training seminar for Metro Cebu. Two days before the event, we were still short of seventy one registrants and the equivalent fees.  My heart was racing at every thought of the teachers’ housing, lovegifts, and gastronomical needs. I considered a handful of options but somehow nothing seemed to fit. Nearing desperation, I was ready for a shout-out. A ‘help me, anyone?’ And I did. To Him who best could. And the verse above were His words to me.

Nehemiah told NO ONE what God had put in his heart. He arrived in Jerusalem three days already and he still hasn’t made himself known to everyone. Very opposite from our political figures who instagram their every provincial visit and brag about their golden eggs even before the chickens meet. Nehemiah’s discreetness was evident in the descriptions ‘he set out during the night’, brought with him ‘a few others’, ‘told no one’ and had ‘only the donkey he was riding on’. He purposefully allowed no one to distract and discourage God’s will through him. I imagine his conversations with God as he inspected every crack and rubble: ‘Lord, will the resources suffice?’ ‘Will the people of Judah’s support this?’ ‘Can I really lead this humongous task?’. His fears were real. But greater was his faith. Not even that did he broadcast. Not until the appropriate time.

And so I sat in my corner resolved to shut my mouth. To those who know me, that’s an effort. But His word was clear. I promised God I will step aside and allow Him to do the talking.  He will move people’s hearts to Himself and for His glory. What He had put in my heart to do was to continue the preps. I did. I’m glad I did. For exactly the same day, I received a text from my pastor approving the check for the sponsored meals I requested, even doubling the amount! That afternoon too, we receive an email from Manila asking for our bank account and the amount was enough to cover the lodging and the remaining meals. And although the Walk-In registrants did not reach the target number, it was the amount we need to bless our teachers with lovegifts. And all I did was to zip my mouth! Guess I should do that more often : ) But not for praise. Not today. For today's the time to shout-out-loud: PRAISE GOD!

What I Want

Nehemiah 2:4

The king said to me, ‘What is it you want?’ Then I prayed to the God of heaven.

Two days before Mother’s Day, my husband told me to check a site and see if I want to spend the weekend there. T’was a very nice hotel-resort and it offered half the price for their soft opening. I was thrilled. But with all our expenses coming up (my weekend in Manila, Rilian’s tuition fee, Windsong’s coming), I knew in my heart it wasn’t the right time for such a big treat. So we had to settle for our second best options. The settling part was challenging though. For one, I really don’t know what I want. When we finally agreed to try the best pizza in town, my indecisiveness took over the next day and it brought us to KFC instead. Seeing my husband’s almost-frustrated look, I pleaded for God’s help to save our special day. He did. And we even discovered a good family hangout we never thought we’d want.

Nehemiah’s planned conversation with King Artaxerxes was a big day for him.  As a cupbearer, he may have been asked for casual what-do-you-think’s but it was always in the context of the king asking him. Not the other way around.  For three to four months, he may have rehearsed the lines in his head. He even fasted for this day to come. I can’t say if his sad face was part of the plan, because it did give him a lot of chills. But it wasn’t when he was most afraid that the Bible noted that He prayed. Interestingly, he called for help at the time of favor and leniency.  Obviously it wasn’t because he wasn’t prepared with details. From LOA permission to life protection to log provision, he had it all OC-covered.   Why he prayed here was because more that seeking this king’s favor, Nehemiah knew he had to seek God’s first. It probably just lasted a second, but it was THE moment when he surrendered his idea of want and allowed God to move as He wanted.

What is it you want? The question might look like an easy ‘I wanna be a billionaire’ question. But really, do we have an answer for this? We all wished for a chance to face our own instant Artaxerxes (a.k.a. Santa or Alladin’s genie) to fulfill our life’s dreams. But will it really work? Didn’t married tycoons had their list realized but still can’t brag contentment? Truth is, we don’t know what’s best for us. We have no way of controlling what will work, what will fit us and what will not. But we have the God who does. He who holds the future also fashioned our inmost being and our every circumstance to work perfectly together. So given the chance to daily ask anything in prayer, always begin with ‘What is it that you want me to ask, Lord?’ Then yield.   

I Can’t

Nehemiah 1:1a; 11b

The words of Nehemiah son of Hakaliah: In the month of Kislev in the twentieth year, while I was in the citadel of Susa…. I was cupbearer to the king.

A day after we booked our December flight to be with our families on Christmas, my sister called to announce God’s big answer to our prayers: she’s finally graduating medical school! Considering her very long, difficult years enduring those thick books and erratic hospital duties, plus all the sacrifices my parents and relatives made in order to pay her six digit fees on time, it’s really a shout-out for everyone. It felt we’re all graduating with her. But my next question is, will our budget allow another flight back home this May? I even bluffed about a nice graduation gift instead just to see how she’d react with me not coming, and she pleaded as expected. And so although our finances says we can’t, Tris and I chose to work around the line how we can, and clicked that literally precious booking : )

Nehemiah likewise faced the same emotional height when the news about Judah came to his hearing. But his was on the other extreme. His heart escalated with the image of his lineage back home in great trouble and disgrace. With Jerusalem’s wall still broken down, his countrymen not only await enemy attacks, they were also daily ridiculed for their past sins which caused those ruins. But how different was Nehemiah from them? He himself acknowledged being one with his people in disobeying God. He can give the reason that he can’t receive heaven’s favor as well. How can he help? He’s out-of-the-country and can’t do much being far away from home. And, what can He do? Others may see his position as prominent being close to the king, but really, what can a cupbearer do? At the end of the day, he’s just another servant, without any power to promote Israel’s welfare.

If Nehemiah followed the track most of us usually take, this part of Israel’s history might have not been written. If he highlighted on the CAN’T and saw himself as unfit, unavailable, and unable, we will all not witness God’s strength made perfect in such weaknesses. Even Nehemiah’s unworthiness as a sinner God used to remind His people of His forgiveness and grace. His location abroad was exactly God’s image of reaching out to His people and calling out any and every vessel to save them. And, Nehemiah’s position as a cupbearer was part of the grander plan, whether you perceive it as a high or low post.  God has that reputation of turning a mess into a message. Our I CAN’Ts into HE CAN. His grace is all we need.

When Hope Seems Gone

Ezra 10:2

We have been unfaithful to our God …. but in spite of this, there is still hope for Israel.

News of the 16 year old UP student’s suicide last Friday not just caused grief but aroused anger among various communities. They were pointing at the state university’s cold-hearted treatment to the girl, who after failing to meet the P10K tuition fee deadline, was forced to file a leave of absence and surrender her well-loved school ID. Prof Martinez, her adviser, observed that ‘studying was her anchor, her lifesaver, her escape. When it was taken away from her, her life dilemmas sank in’.  ‘UP deprived my daughter of her only hope to help us’ her father said.  And it was that hopelessness that took her young life.

Even in the Bible, we see our faith heroes not exempt from seemingly hopeless times. Look at their quotable quotes:  from Moses ‘It is too heavy for me. Kill me I pray’; from Elijah ‘I have had enough Lord. Take me now’; and from Job and Jonah  ‘It is better for me to die than to live’. Indeed, desperate times call for desperate measures. But giving up negates all that God is. It pictures a God who provides not, sees not, cares not. It blames Him for the inequality of life. It denies His power to make miracles and turn lives around. It accuses His promises empty and calls Him a liar.  Sure, we don’t actually curse God when our faces hit the wall. Because truth is, most of the time, we haven’t been really calling at all. We are only alone when we choose isolation. And that’s where darkness lies.

In Ezra’s last chapter, guilt haunted all of Judah and they had every reason to succumb to fear. They knew they aroused God’s wrath by marrying pagan wives which was a direct and specific command. History told them exile was next, but Ezra expected the worst. It was in this distress that God used a man Shecaniah to bring light back into his eyes. Like King David, he knew it is better to fall in the hands of an angry God, for His mercy is great. That’s their hope. God’s their hope. In Him there is grace, there is forgiveness, there is future. In Him, there is always a way out. Jesus promised He will provide it. In fact, He even called Himself THE Way.  That’s why we shouldn’t give up on life. Instead, let’s give it all – our cares, our troubles, our pains - to Him who cares for us, and our lives, the most.